


The bird that spreads his wings but never flies.

by edwardcobblepot



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fighting, Love Triangle, Love/Hate, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Relationship Issues, Sad, Suicide Attempt, endgame- nygmobblepot, rated for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:45:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6520318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edwardcobblepot/pseuds/edwardcobblepot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward loves Oswald. Edward hates Oswald. Edward loves Jim. Edward can't decide. </p><p>Or the one in which Edward was tired of being alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Edward's sinking.

Oswald awoke from his sleep screaming bloody murder in his hotel room. 

Ergh, their hotel room. 

Oswald was, as you may call it, completely petrified and at the loss of his mother. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, all he could do was shake all over. 

_It's the anxiety, Cobblepot. It's all in your head._

That's what one of his teachers would tell him in his middle school days. She had him convinced that something was wrong with his brain, and that he could simply get over it but never seemed to do so. He found later on that her saying this was much like saying-

" _It's the water, Oswald. It's all in your lungs."_

That would often (not now, of course) make Oswald chuckle, remembering the day he almost drowned in the harbor.

"Oh dear, Oswald. What's wrong?"

Edward nearly leapt out of the white-sheeted bed, and came around it to find Oswald near seziuring on the floor with the  _clank clank clank clank_ of Oswald's foot hitting one of the legs of the bed over and over again.

Oswald hadn't even known he was on the floor when Edward pulled him into his arms, his bare back against the comfort of Ed's white T-shirt. He mewled at this. 

He was rocked gently back and forth in Edward's arms, limp. He felt cold and powerless and completely vulnerable and it made him want to vomit. 

But at the same time, he felt loved. And he felt like he was being cared for, and he very rarely felt like this ever since his mother passed away. 

Edward was the first breath after arising from the water. Edward is mercy to those who deserved it. Edward is soothing and the definiton of "after care" after sex (he is very much a cuddler and "let's talk about it"). Edward is the light drizzle on a Sunday morning over the busy streets of Gotham.

But Ed was also the reason he felt like drowning in the bath tub, drowning in the bed sheets, drowning in his smell and in his warmth. Ed is revenge. Ed is violent and Ed is the phoenix in the fire, arising from the ashes and flaming. Ed is the thunderstorms late into the night of murders, rapes, and other treacherous crimes in the underworld that is Gotham at night.

These two men, who were in one body, both fell in love with Oswald for two completely different reasons, yet never had the audacity to tell him. They never spoke of "I love you" and they never established a relationship. 

"What happened, Oswald?" Edward asked him softly, and kissed the back of his neck under his ear. 

"It was nothing, friend- just another violent flashback."

Oswald said as if he was in Iraq or Vietnam. But no, and sometimes Oswald thought he would've preferred it. Oswald was speaking of the death of his mother, which was the most prominent of hells he had been put through in the last year. That along with Arkham Asylum, loosing his throne, blurring in and out of sanity, loosing his former only friend Jim, and the endless taunting and torture from those who used to spit shine his shoes.

Edward frowned at this. 

"Was it your mother?"

Edward also wanted to mention that he believed they were past the point of friendship now, seeming they had just fornicated less than three hours ago, but he said nothing of the sort.

"Yes, just-"

Oswald broke free of Edward's cradle and wiped his eyes of the slow rolling tears streaming down his face. He sniffled and went to find his pants. Edward stood up and watched him dress.

"Oswald, you know I hate it when you leave this early. What's wrong? Did I do something to hurt you?"

"No! Just stop, okay?"

"Oswald, calm down."

"No! No I can't calm down, because I'm either hurting myself, or hurting my family, or you! I'm going to get you killed, Eddie! You need to stay away from me, what if they found out about us?  I don't honestly suppose they take kindly to a crime boss and his cop-"

"Forensic scientist."

"-boyfriend."

Edward stared back at Oswald, jaw opened, as if it had unwired from his head.

"You consider me your boyfriend?"

Edward said softly and Oswald was still crying, sniffling, and he was a beautiful mess. He was the butterfly that some random person killed and eventually caused the Earth to end (Edward was a strong believer in this effect). Oswald was the rainbow after the hurricane that leaves a small town in shreds, and although he is beautiful, he is still nonetheless the aftermath of a horrible diaster, and much more he was the cause of it. 

It was Oswald that came to Ed. Edward keeps telling himself this. Oswald was the one who wanted him in the first place, and just as men of buisness do, they come and take what they feel belongs to them and then they leave, not caring about the damaged family they left behind who won't have enough to eat, or the father of two they'll leave homeless on the streets...

_Or the lover they had to leave so that they could find "bigger and better things" for themselves._

Edward had no idea how to handle this thought, because Oswald had far too many times told Edward that he was the best thing that ever happened to him.

"So that's it,  huh?" Edward inhaled sharply and with an agitated pause, spoke, "I was just some stupid guy with some silly riddles who was weird but oh, was mediocre in bed and actually gave a damn about you, so I was worth it to waste your time on, so now you have to leave? Is that it?"

"Yes," It pained Oswald to say this, and he swallowed these words thickly like they were sandpaper grating his tongue, "You mean nothing to me. You never did." 

And although Edward knew this was a lie, it didn't make it hurt any less. Because, despite it all, Oswald was Edward's (and Ed's) best friend, and he never meant to hurt him and he never wanted to loose him, and he could never fully hate him for wanting what Edward feared the most.

Edward pulled Oswald close, nearly vigorously, by the collar of hisshirt that he was trying to button. He stares into his eyes and he saw himself, he saw loneliness and loss and couldn't comprehend on the sudden transition they were experiencing- that only a few hours ago he was whispering to Oswald about how much he loved him as his hands trailed up and down his smaller frame, and now he was screaming at him, rudely and subtly, and without saying how much he needed him. And he was hurting him.

The muffled words slowly became more hearable, and it was Oswald tugging away.

"Let me go, let me go, let me go!"

Edward paused, and he suddenly came to realise that he was hurting him. His whole life Oswald was never allowed to be free, nor was he ever pushed from the nest, considering helived with his mother until she died when he was twenty eight years old (he still is, but that's not the point) . He remembered why Oswald had needed him in the first place. 

_He remembered how he murdered Kristen._

And for these reasons, he let the love of his life go. 

He watched as he stormed out the door in a sobbing mess.

* * *

It was only two months until Edward found himself tired. No, not physicslly, really, although he had gotten little sleep nowadays. He felt too alone to sleep, and let his memory haunt his thoughts. 

Edward often imagined Oswald coming in through his front door, dropping his bags and his wet coat and telling him how much he missed him, and how stupid he was to leave. 

So when he heard that the inherited millionaire was living in the outskirts of the city, with his soon to be wife, Edward let out a quick, sharp sob before running back into his office, leaving Jim Gordon (and probably only Jim) concerned about why Edward was upset upon hearing this. 

"Ed... What's wrong?" Jim tapped on the office door to imitate a knock, but it wasn't much of knock considering he didn't wait to be invited in.

"Nothing, I'm f-fine." Edward's voice shuttered at the words. He was not fine. 

"Where are you heading?" Jim asked as Edward gathered all his things quickly.

"Just finishing out my shift. Signing out, you know. Usual stuff." Edward fixed his glasses abovr his red, tear stained cheeks and waved slighty, a goodbye to Jim as he passed by him out of the office.

Jim wasn't going to be the one to admit it, he was just getting over the false hope of a marriage with Lee, but he thought to himself that Edward looked beautiful.

* * *

 

Edward pulled his car over right before the bridge that connected Gotham to its outskirts, he knew that Oswald lived out there, somewhere in a nice roomy mansion with his fiancée. He put the car in park and pulled his trench coat  up more to try and block his body from the cold harsh, rain.

"It should've been us."

Edward whispered to himself as he stood atthe ledge of the bridge, peering off into the water.

'What an anticlimactic way to end it all' Ed thought, and they both thought of all the cheating, all the hurting, all the lying they had done to everyone around them. Edward knew though, that Ed was his only friend throughout his life, and he could never hate him for the bad when he'd done Edward so much good.

" _You have one chance, Mr. Cobblepot."_

He dialed his number, and it was answered right before the last ring.

"Edward?"

"I would like to leave a note," Edward hiccupped through his cry, staring down at the ice cold water, he gathered some rocks on the bridge and put them in his pockets, "That's what someone does when they're about to die, right?"

"Edward, where are you? I'll come get you. Does somebody have you?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I just called to say that even though you moved on so quickly, that I never did. I'll never forget you, and I've come to realise that the only way I'll ever be free of you is upon death, and I am more than willing."

"Edward, I didn't-"

"No, please. Don't speak. I know you've changed and grown but my memory of you will never do such a thing. You'll always be mine in my memory, I'd like to die with that pride. Just promise me if your lovely wife ever is blessed with a baby boy, that you'll name him Nashton? It's... my real last name. I changed it a couple years ago. I've never told anyone that."

"Eddie, please don't do this. She's just a cover, I'm not even legally marrying her. Please don't do it."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less, Oswald!" Edward was sobbing.

"Edward, I love you."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have left me."

Silence.

"Goodbye, Oswald. We could've been so much greater."

Edward watched as his phone fell into the water from all that height, he let go of the last he'll ever have of Oswald besides the memory of him. It hurt, loosing the only thing tangible of him. It might be been proof that he lost himself.

"Edward! Get off the ledge!"

Ed's head shot around, to see Oswald clutching his fur coat around his frame, crying, and Jim Gordon pointing a gun at Edward, concerned.

"Oh, so if I try to jump you'll shoot me?"

Oswald and Jim looked at each other, and Oswald grabbed the gun and put it to his own temple.

"G-get off the ledge, Eddie. We can go home. Why didn't you ever tell me you missed me?"

"Because you wanted to leave when I needed you most!"

"Edward, please don't jump. I'm here for you."

Jim spoke, calmly but worry hinting his voice. Edward believed that Jim could care about him, so he got off the ledge and fell into Jim's arms, crying.

Oswald dropped the gun and went over to hug Edward, but James shielded him.

"No! Can't you see you've done enough already, Oswald?!"

Oswald let the rain pour down on him, and he got into the back of the cop car, it being his first trip in one without being taken to the GCPD.

"I've got a 10-31, Edward Nygma attempted jump suicide, unsuccessful. I'm bringing him to a hospitial." Jim spoke quickly and then turned it off, not wanting Edward to hear any of the responses.

"It's okay," a kiss on the top of Edward's wet hair, as Ed shook against Jim's much sturdier frame, "I've got you."

   



	2. But Someone's risen from the ashes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald and Jim take Edward home, and are met with a surprising visitor.  
> {SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS A BIT OUT OF CHARACTER}

Edward awoke with squinting eyes in his hospitial room.

Ergh, their hospitial room.

James Gordon was passed out in the chair across the small room, while Oswald was cuddled up into Edward's chest. There was a machine attached to Edward to monitor his heart rate, which he found pretty useless, considering he was dying mentally, not physically. But he supposed it was to see his level of anxiousness.

He watched as Oswald's chest rose and fell, gently, and how Oswald gripped Ed's medical gown. He had forgotten how it looked to have someone, especially someone as beautiful as Oswald, curled up into him. It brought back waves of pleasure, and then shocks of painful memories came along with such waves.

And then his glance shot at Jim, who had thrown his own detective jacket over himself as a makeshift blanket.

Jim was handsome and rugged, so protecting and caring. Jim... was all he could've ever wished for as a friend. As a boyfriend, even. He was stable, a solid figure to lean on that wouldn't shake or give in.

Oswald was beautiful and porcelain, but dangerous and threatening. He shook the Earth below him, and Edward thought if people were weather, Jim was a windy moderate afternoon, Edward was the foogy morning with dew sprinkled on the grass, and Oswald... well, Oswald was a fucking hurricane.

This was what tore Edward to pieces.

"Edward, you're awake!" The loud and obviously new nurse exclaimed, waking the other two up quickly, Jim in a panic state before realising it was the nurse. Edward excused this rapid entrance on account of her young age.

"Sorry boys," The nurse giggled, and Jim rolled his eyes, "I have to ask Edward a couple questions. If he wants, you guys can stay."

"They are permitted stay, nothing they don't already know, ma'am."

She sat on a spinny stool and scooted close to the bed. Oswald sat up with Edward, clinging to his arm. Edward allowed this, regardless of his upsetness towards the smaller man, he craved his touch. It was a bad habbit that only got worse, it was a relapse ten times over.

"Tell me, Edward. Why did you feel the need to try to jump off that bridge?"

"I believed I lost someone. Someone very important to me."

" Do you feel angry towards that person?"

Edward looked at Oswald, who was gently rubbing his head against Edward's shoulder and looking up at him.

"A little, I won't lie."

"Do you have issues with anger?"

Yes. He suddenly gets violent far too often with himself. But saying the truth won't keep him out of the mental institution.

"Mmm, no."

" Do you have a past of self harm, or do you currently self harm?"

Yes, his teenaged years were rough.

"No."

 "Relationships? Past and present?"

"A girlfriend, for about a month, and a... male lover."

"Why did the relationship with the girl end?"

She died.

" She ran away with a former boyfriend."

"And the boyfriend?"

"Sex partner. He was a sex partner- strictly for lewd pleasures and nothing so intimate. And um, it's complicated."

Oswald frowned.

"So you're bisexual?"

"Pansexual."

She nodded, and tapped her pen against her clipboard. It was a bit of sensory anxiety, the way Ed wished he could slit her throat for all the irritating tapping sounds she made.

"Is your sexuality a possible reason on why you tried to jump?"

Edward rolled his eyes.

"No. I am not by any means ashamed of my sexuality. I just had some complications. May I please go now?"

James was paying attention, watching them go on rather intently.

"Sir, It's hard to believe you were going to end your life over some complications."

Oswald interuppted in, rolling his eyes.

"Ma'am, please. I have Edward under control, we just need to be checked out so he can come back home."

"Excuse you, Oswald," Jim surprisingly came back at, "Edward is not going home with you. He's coming back with me where I can keep an eye on him." 

Jim got up and brushed himself off.

"I'll tell the doctor of your request." The nurse said, before walking out.

"Are you trying to challenge me, James? Because Edward is mine. My boyfriend."

"Guys..."

"He just told that nurse that you two are only sex partners. And he needs someone to look after him."

"Guys, listen..."

"And you think I cant?"

"I just think it'd be a little awkward to have the guy and girl you're banging under the same roof."

"Seems like you didn't mind when it was Barbara and I in your home."

"Guys!"

Oswald and Jim both looked at Ed, who was obviously irritated.

"As much as I would always  _love_ to hear about how you two used to fornicate because of the sexual tension that stirred due to your rivalry-companion relationship, I would rather not current. I have an apartment, you know. I don't want to stay with either of you two, I'd just be a burden."

Oswald ran his hand through Ed's hair and Jim walked over to caress Edward's hand. They were touching him softly, and Ed wondered if they were trying to impress him, the other man, or both. It was so unbelievable that less than twenty four hours ago he felt as though he had no one and now two men want him.

_Want him??_

"We'll take him back home to my place, where's he safe and has an abundance of privacy, Jim. You can tag along too, if you truly care about him. Or does the station need you again?"

Oswald mocked.

"Oh, so we'll take Eddie here back home to your missus so she can make us all tea while you do unimaginable things to him as your men beat the shit out of me? Don't think that I don't know that you're slowly approaching your thrown of shit, Oswald. You want to go be king of something? You'd be better off being the King of Garbage."

The sound of Oswald's open fist slappingJim's cheek made Edward shudder. 

"I'm not marrying her, for Christ's sake. She doesn't even live at my home. She's a cover so I can get shit done without rumours being thrown at my face. And I would never hurt you, Jim, or make sexual advances to a person emotionally unstable. Please understand exactly who you're talking to."

"You're emotionally unstable, Cobblepot. A psychopath."

"Emotionally and mentally unstable are two different concepts, Jim."

"What's black and white and read all over?"

Edward asked, and the two acknowledged him again.

"Penguin; once I take him back to the GCPD and have a word with him."

Jim popped his knuckles, Oswald slapped James harmlessly on the muscled bicep, and Ed laughed at the response.

"The newspaper. We'll be keeping any and all talk of me or any of my relationships out of it. Correct?"

"Of course, Eddie dear."

"Sure, Ed."

The nurse came through the door and looked at the three of them, who had gotten seemingly heated and closer than before she left. 

"You boys can collect Edward's clothes at the front ER check in and leave."

Ed pondered on who got him dressed- naked save the medical gown last night, but didn't want to bring another arguement. They were at each other's throats for no reason at all.

Edward also wanted to ask if one of them would hold the back of his gown so his ass wouldn't hang out.

"Mr. Nygma, you're still in shock. Do you need a walker or anything?"

The nurse asked him. He shook his head and stood up, and immediately fell to the tile floor, rear hanging out and all.

"Jesus Christ, what did you people give him?"

"Mild sedatives to calm down his sobbing, Sir."

Oswald bit his lip and looked away from Edward, eyes tempting him.

"Christ, Oswald. Get it together, and help me get Ed up."

"I'm fine guys, I just can't feel my legs and my bottom is hanging out, but besides that I'm fine."

* * *

 

"My home is yours, Eddie."

Oswald said as he opened the door for Edward, who was in a wheelchair pushed by Jim. They rolled their way into the huge mansion that was located in a pretty forested area with plenty of room between him and his nearest neighbors. Edward smelt murder, like the way you could indicate the left over smell of something that had been burnt, but he always suspected it of Oswald, anyways. He just didn't know who he killed.

"And of course, you as well, Jimbo old friend. As long as you follow my rules and such, they're not too harsh by any means."

Jim looked around, seemingly just as curious as to where Oswald received this mansion as well.

"I know you at least used to have a lot of businesses in the underworld of Gotham city, but I didn't know it prospered this greatly."

Jim commented.

"Maybe I should look into it." Edward whispered.

"Don't be silly, after my father died I received this in the will. The step family didn't seem to enjoy my company, so they left with the money they received." Oswald nodded as he spoke, and Edward could tell through his lies. He wondered if Jim could too. He doubted James cared enough, either way.

"Right." Jim agreed.

"James, will you please go put my bags in my room?" Ed asked, nodding at the small suitcases. Jim agreed, sighing.

After James left, an awkward silence fell upon the two former lovers.

"So, how's the wife?"

"I don't know. How's the job?"

"Can't be that well, I did almost jump off a bridge less than a day ago."

"Never scare me like that again, Edward. You can always come to me."

"Why'd you leave me? Especially like that. You ruined me. You're all that I've been able to think about."

" I might've left you, but it was for your own sake. And don't you dare think for a second that I didn't miss you. Because I did. I missed you, okay? And I love you. I've always loved you whether I've said it or not, and funny enough you are the one who's never told me that."

"If my parent's failed and abusive relationship taught me anything, it's never love someone who lies, never lie to someone you love, and the minute your partner who says they love you lies to you, you can never trust them again. Because how would you know if he ever meant anything he ever said to you?"

"When did I lie to you, Eddie?"

"When you said that I meant everything to you and then nothing at all. It contradicts itself."

"Am I interrupting something?"

Jim was standing at the edge of the staircase, shirt halfway unbottoned and looking rough, in the handsome way. Edward shook his head but couldn't look at him, Oswald's stare already burning into his head.

"What varies in color and gets old but never dies?"

"...wine?"

"Yes, detective. Fine as wine."

"I say we drink to Jim!" Oswald blurted out, quickly wobbling to the kitchen, and the other two following him, with Jim pushing Edward's wheelchair. 

Oswald poured him and Edward a drink, and when he went to pour Jim some ofthe red wine, despite Jim's effort in telling Oswald it was full enough, Oswald continued to pour into the overfilled glass as it spilt down the glass and onto the wood floor.

"To your success, Jimbo!" Oswald laughed, and handed the glass to Jim, it spilling a bit on Jim's shirt. 

"Thanks."

There was the ring of the doorbell, and to avoid the awkward situation, Edward quickly offered to answer it.

Leaving the two gentlemen in the kitchen, he rolled himself to the front door, and complicatedly opened the door and backed away to let it swing wide. 

Edward's brain freezed, and his jaw fell open. 

He peed a little in his pants.

"I heard your sugar daddy can help me."

Edward was absolutely terrified, so much that he couldn't hear Oswald's attempt on Jim's life with the broken wine bottle. Ed's face was pale, but he was also... amazed.

"What? Word gets around quickly when you're dead."

"Oooswald!" 

Oswald came I'm rather quickly and Jim followed behind him, not paying attention while putting his gun in his holster. Oswald stopped walking, in shock, and Jim bumped into him.

"What the hell, Oswald?"

Jim looked up.

"Jerome?!" Shouted the two standing gentlemen simultaneously.

"What, never seen a ginger before? Haha!"


	3. Agony and a ginger.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title representing two things brought in to this chapter.

"Jerome? Valeska? No, no, no. You're dead. Theo Galavan stabbed you in the throat!"

Oswald whimpered, arms wrapped around Edward's neck as he was crouching a bit behind the man in the wheelchair.

"Ooh! You're right! Wanna see the battle scar?"

"You were on my table, I examined you..." Edward said, puzzled but certainly intrigued on how this man was now standing in front of him, living and breathing.

"Did you like what you saw?" Jerome laughed.

"I was there when you died...you died. What the hell, Valeska?!"

"Oh, come on Jimmy! You can't say you didn't miss me, our little game of monkey and weasel, right? You definitely missed me in tight pants. It was the uh, tight pants, wasn't it Jimmy?" Jerome said with a wink.

"Go to hell."

"Ah, must've been the boots then. Whatever gets your boat floatin'."

"Where'd you get the scars?" Edward asked, smiling even more so. There were somewhat new scars on either sides of Jerome's lips, considering they were scabbed anymore but they were still a healing, pinkish color. His face had been slit into a permeant,  but Ed wanted to know how.

"One question at a time, hot wheels. Now can I come inside? This hair doesn't keep me as warm as, uh, it looks like it should."

Oswald pulled Ed's wheelchair out of the way of the door to give Jerome space to enter. Jim shut the door behind all of them.

"I'm going to help Edward upstairs, you two make yourself at home. My home is yours." Oswald said as he helped Ed out of his wheelchair, and Edward had one hand on the railing the other arm wrapped around Oswald's shoulder as he walked as best he could up the stairs, leaving his wheelchair behind. 

"This'll be your room," Oswald grunted, pushing the door open, "if it's decent enough."

It was a large, beautiful room with plenty of windows. It had a large master bed and a beautiful dresser with a mirror. A lovely chair along with some other antiques.

"It's beautiful." Edward said as Oswald sat him down on the bed. 

Oswald then got on his knees in front of Edward, and Ed immediately began to panic.

"W-what are you doing?!"

Oswald looked puzzled before realizing the crudeness of this situation and rubbing his temple and laughing.

"I'm checking to see if the sedatives or anesthetic or whatnot they decided to drug you with has worn off any yet, I'm supposed to check it every hour."

Edward felt relieved.

Oswald gently and slowly, in almost a teasing manner unlaced Edward's shoes and slid them off his feet. The socks followed. Oswald showed no sign of sexual intent and this also frustrated Edward, like Oswald didn't know what he did to him.

Oswald firmly, yet carefully, pressed down on Edward's foot.

"Can you feel this?"

Oswald asked, and Edward nodded.

Oswald went up to his calves, and Edward's breathing was starting to quicken, and he tried to stabilize himself with big breaths.

"This?"

"A little more, yeah." Edward smiled awkwardly and Oswald smiled up at him.

Oswald was now sitting up straighter, pressing his thumbs into Ed's knees.

"This?"

"No, not really."

Edward could feel his heart beating through his chest. He wanted Oswald, it wasn't difficult for him to want Oswald in this way. 

Oswald was now standing up, hovering over the usually taller man and he had his hand pressed to Edward's upper thigh, dangerously close to where Ed's, ergh, manhood was arising.

"This?"

Oswald whispered hotly into Edward's ear, making him shiver. He felt not in control of this, and he didn't usually feel this way, but he knew it was what he probably needed right now.

"Not right there, no." Edward swallowed his words as soon as they were out.

"Oh? What about here?"

Edward gasped as he felt Oswald's hand pressing through the fabric of yesterday's pants.

"That's a yes then." Oswald smirked and kissed Edward, hard and rough, holding their faces together with one hand and pressing his other against Ed's crotch, palming him.

"I could take you right here, right now, Eddie. You wouldn't be able to get away." Oswald smirked as if he was doing something evil. As if it were revenge. 

"Please." Edward moaned, trying his best to thrust his hips into Oswald's hand.

*

"Wanna hear another joke? Three gay men walk into Oswald's house-"

"Dammit Jerome, be quiet for one minute."

"Wow, the closet must be pretty crowded for you." Jerome said, walking to the kitchen to grab some wine. Jim followed him, keeping an eye on the former Maniax leader.

"No, I'm just listening in on them. They've been up there for what, fifteen minutes now?" Jim asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, why?" Jerome asked, instead grabbing for the ice cream in the freezer and a spoon from the dishwasher.

"Ah, fuck." Jim said, cocking his gun.

"Ooh, I wanna see this!" Jerome said, quickly following Jim up the staircase with his ice cream still in hand.

*

"fuckfuckfuck." Edward mumbled into Oswald's hand which was covering his mouth, as Oswald pushed inside, slowly but tensely, as if saying 'sorry but I can't wait much longer'.

Oswald removed his hand to press his panting mouth on Edward's, and slowly started rocking them back and forth together. It was slow and passionate as strained tears leaked out of Ed's squeezed eyes, because fuck, it's been a while, and Oswald whispered to him about how beautiful and vulnerable he looked in this very moment.

"Harder." Ed whispered and Oswald sat up more, put one hand around Edward's throat as the other on his hip, and began thrusting harder and grinding their hips together as the headboard went /thunk, thunk, thunk/ against the east wall.

"Edward? Oswald? You two okay?"

Oswald's eyes widened and out of shock fell over to the opposite side of the bed, pulling Edward with him.

Edward let out a yelp at this, which caused Jim and Jerome to storm in.

Ed peeped his head over the bed to meet the two invader's gazes.

"May I help you two gentlemen?"

"Oswald's over there with you, isn't he?" Jerome was in a ball on the ground, laughing.

Edward blushed and Jim shot his gun at the ceiling.

"My god, Gordon!"

Oswald shouted as he shot up and pulled his underwear up.

"You...fucker!" Jim snapped, and Edward pulled his own underwear up as Jim lunged at Oswald and punch him right in the gut.

"Jim! Stop!" Edward said as Jim kicked Oswald, who was on the floor.

Edward took Jim's face in his hands and Jim started to calm down as he looked into Edward's eyes. Jim looked hurt, like a puppy who had been found floating in a box on the river. He rubbed his hands over Jim's neck.

"It's okay Jim, It's okay. We both wanted it-"

"No! You're mentally and physically unstable right now, you're practically being carried by me right now! He's taking advantage of you! Or at least he was."

Oswald wobbled to his feet and clutched his gut.

"You will regret that, Jim Gordon! You will rue the day you tried to get between me and the man I love!"

Oswald was steaming with range, and Jerome looked upon all of this as if it was a bad movie. Oswald couldn't even look at the two, the way their foreheads pressed together and they shared breaths, and ignored Oswald. Oswald limped out the door and Jerome followed him, not caring for what the other two men were doing.

"It's okay, I'm here now. I'm here for you, Edward. I love you."

Edward froze and pushed Jim away, collapsing into the bed.

"Jim! Why would you say that?" Edward was shocked.

"I can't control it, Ed. I love you, I want to protect you, I want you to be mine."

"Stop! Stop!"

Jim looked broken. The abandoned puppy had now additionally been kicked.

"Edward, why?"

There was a long pause, and Edward apologized with his eyes.

"I love Oswald, I've always loved Oswald. We were making love... It wasn't just sex, Jim. I'm sorry."

Jim ran his hands through his hair and turned for the bedroom door.

"That man is toxic, Ed! He will ruin you!" Jim yelled, his voice shaking the room as he stared at Edward from the door.

" Jim, please-" Edward was nearly sobbing.

"Lucky for you," Jim snarled, "I'll always be there to pick up your pieces so he can knock you down all over again." Jim shook his head and slammed the bedroom door behind him, leaving Edward to sob by himself. Not even a minute later after a sentence or two of more yelling from downstairs, he heard the front door slam, too.

Thirty seconds later, Oswald was back in Edward's room, white t-shirt and boxer briefs on. 

"He took Jerome with him." Oswald said, hints of a frown on his face. 

"Will you please stay with me?"

"Of course." Oswald said, crawling into bed with the taller man.

 


	4. Both set out to bring him trouble and despair.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward is overcome by Ed. Trouble is assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slight rape/non con elements due to mental illness.

It was the next morning. Edward watched the sun rise, bright and early at around six twenty four, as he drank some tea out of a green mug, considering Oswald didn't like coffee, nor would he have it in his home.

They told Edward to take a few days off. Ease his mind, recover from this closeness of insanity, cope with this situation that stirred inside of him. But Edward wanted to wake up early, drink tea, get dressed and watch as Oswald slept peacefully. It was his way of coping with losing himself.

Oswald's eyes peaked open after reaching for where Edward had been in their bed, and realizing he was no longer there.

"Good morning." Edward spoke softly and it echoed a bit through the room.

"Best morning in a while." Oswald said, getting out of the bed and letting the white sheets fall to the ground and red comforter lay in a mess, lying on the floor, only attached to the bed from the end which was tucked under the mattress. Oswald wrapped his arms around Ed's waist from behind him, and Edward let out a deep sigh, of the satisfied variety, as Oswald laid his forehead on Edward's shoulder from behind him. Edward could somewhat see their reflection in the window, and Edward thought of how they looked like art.

They looked like long lost friends, crazy and shameless and in love, the kind of love that makes you hold your breath because deep down you know, you know so unsatisfyingly that it won't work out. 

They looked like strangers sometimes, too. Lost in each other's eyes, confused and complexed over all the time they had dreaded not being together. The way you squint your eyes at a face you have blurry rememberance of reminded Ed of how he looked at Oswald when he said unreasonable or unrelated things to him, just to drive him up the wall and get under his skin.

They looked like lovers, colorful and dark and in so many dimensions. They were made up of stardust and had monsters inside of them, and were incapable of healing. Edward knew he'd never be able to move on even if he wanted to, because fuck, Oswald is everything destructive and it's Ed's urge to try and put the pieces all together. Make Oswald into his perfect little puzzle, smush the cardboard pieces together until the loosely fit into place.

"You're so special to me." Is how Edward summarized his thoughts.

Oswald was looking over Ed's shoulder, on his tippy toes and bad right knee pushed against the inside of Ed's. His chin was on Edward's shoulder blade and Edward hoped to God, though if God had existed Edward never felt any mercy, but he hoped in the back of his mind that this was how Oswald would remember him. Staring into their reflection and the arch of his back as he yawned and Oswald's grip slightly tightened on his hip bones. A reassurance that Oswald was real, and there, balancing his best and leaning against Ed's tall, lanky figure.

It was Oswald who broke the moment, with a kiss on the back of his neck, which sent unbottled shivers down Edward's spine, he let his hands fall off Ed's hips and walks towards the door, waiting for Edward to follow him.

"Whatever happened to you not wanting to hurt me?" Edward suddenly asked, not taking his sight off the morning sky. The sunrise was beautiful. Oswald was more beautiful, he was the source of all beauty, Edward thought. But if Edward were to look into the sun, he might go blind. Was that a price he was will to pay in order to feel Oswald's radiance?

There was a long silence, then a deep breath from the shorter man.

"I don't want to hurt you but I don't want to loose you either. Maybe we can fall somewhere in between. Can I interest you in some breakfast?" 

"So you have to hurt me in order for me to be able to stay? You like me the way people like stallions?"

"What, free?" Oswald humored the ridiculous analogy.

"Broken." Edward replied. Another long silence before Ed dramatically turned and added,

"Breakfast sounds fantastic."

As Oswald turned to walk out of the room, Edward quickly turned and grabbed Oswald by his wrist.

"You know, for us, there is no grey area. There is only desire and pride. We could give in to eachother and have eachother. Or..."

Oswald didn't turn to look at Ed. He only took a deep breath.

"Or what, Ed?"

"Or we could loose ourselves in pride and dignigty. In our past, itching to prove that we've moved on from one another. And you could loose me again. Do you want to take me or leave me, Oswald?"

Silence. Then oswald slightly looked over his shoulder.

"Let's eat."

Edward followed Oswald out of the room, and down the stairs which Ed still had a little trouble with, and they reached the kitchen.

Jerome was there, sitting at the kitchen table, running his hands over the wood of the table.

"Jerome?" Oswald asked puzzled, but not completely surprised. Crazier things have happened.

 "Already had breakfast, thanks for asking. Ulga is very good with pancakes. Couldn't, uh, understand a word she said though. And that's how I like my ladies."

Jerome smiled, and watched the front door open. It was Jim Gordon walking into the manor. Oswald reached into a kitchen drawer and grabbed a hand gun.

"It was probably along the lines of "What the  _hell_ is Jim Gordon doing stalking my home?!"."

Jim raises his hands sarcastically in the air, and steps closer into the kitchen, standing beside Jerome.

"Yeah, maybe."

Jerome joked.

"I'm not here to harm you, Oswald."

"Oh, how generous of you to offer me safety in my own home! If only you could offer me a little bit of privacy, as well, hmm?"

Oswald said, lowering his gun and putting it back in the drawer.

"Well, to be fair, you were offering all your privates to Ed yesterday when we were still here... so 9/10 for great hosting. Would've given you a better rating if Ed had been a little louder."

"Jerome, shut up."

Jim said, annoyed.

"Listen, Oswald. I know we've had our differences, but I'd think it'd be best if we let Edward decide how he feels."

Oswald scoffed.

"Are you pulling my leg, Jim? You saw us yesterday, we are together again. He's my boyfriend, so step off,  _pal."_

"Ed?"

Jim raised an eyebrow.

"I, um..."

Oswald rolled his eyes.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I don't know how I feel, alright! Geez, I can't even catch a break after trying to kill myself! I need a break from troubling emotions and attachment, alright? I would like any relationships I have with anyone to be considered completely platonic if not physical until I say otherwise. I've been given no control in my life up until this time and I'm putting the hammer down!"

 The sound of classical music playing was all that could be heard. Ulga was cleaning to it. 

"Ed, that's all I want to give you, alright? I want to give you that control back."

Jim said to him, slowly and softly approaching, hair tossed every which was yet still looking like some sort of guy out of a catalog.

"Edward, we... have chemistry. You are willing to throw that all away because of what? Some urge to satisfy a consequence free urge to have a no-stings-attached relationship with two men at once?"

Edward took a deep breath. Ed took a deeper breath. Ed clenched his fists. Edward unclenched his. Edward was loosing control. He felt like it wasn't his words, wasn't his breaths anymore. 

"Who ever mentioned sex, Os? Is that all I am to you?"

Silence.

"You know you're more than that, Edward. You're everything to me. I can't loose you, don't throw away our love."

"I want to feel free again."

"You're mine, Edward. Nothing will erase that."

"Need any help back at the GCPD, Jim?"

Jim shook his head.

"I took the day off. Still have to get these search warrants signed, though."

"Can I go with you?"

"You absolutely cannot!"

Oswald yelled.

"Of course."

Jim replied. Ed quickly headed towards the door, Jim following a few steps behind him.

"Ossie, I'll be back in a couple of hours, I just need some space."

"Take all the time you need, Ed. When you come back here, I'll be gone." 

Oswald said, a tear falling from his eye.

Ed frowned and Jim closed the door behind him.

Stressed out, Oswald sat by his fireplace, head in his hands.

"You mind if I crash here?"

Jerome said, plopping himself on an expensive leather couch.

"Whatever."

Oswald said, heading upstairs.

*

"So what's up with you and Oswald? Y'all okay?"

Jim said, parking the car in front of the courthouse. He put his hand on Ed's thigh and loomed over at him.

Ed stared staright ahead and huffed a piece of fallen hair out from in front of his eyes. He was wearing pajama pants and a white t-shirt, about to walk into the courthouse with some nike sandels that Jim had laying in his backseat. 

"Oswald thinks he can suddenly up and leave me for months without an explanation, drive me to near suicide, then reclaim ownership of me. I'm not a toy he can pick up and play with as soon as another person wants the toy."

"So what? You want him to share you?"

Jim joked. Ed looked over at him and smirked.

"If he wants me he better own me, and if he owns me now he's going to have to own me forever. And if he wants me, he better be kicking himself over me being woth anyone else."

Ed licked his lips. Jim felt a bead of sweat drip down his back. 

"You could do so much better than Oswald. A life free of so much risk, you could have someone to always keep your bed warm at night. A man who wants to know how to love you just the way to love you."

"I think I know a guy."

Ed stared deeply into Jim's eyes.

"Yeah, Ed? Tell me about him." 

The grip on Ed's thigh tightened. So did his pants.

"He's a rough kinda of handsome,"

A deep breath from Jim,

"The kind of man that keeps you wanting more,"

Ed runs his hand along the side of Jim's face,

"Everything about him is a mystery,"

Jim can feel Ed's hot breath on his ear.

"The kind of man that's feeling me up right now."

Jim grabs Ed by the hem of his shirt and kisses him deeply, chincs pressing into each other almost violently and smooth tongue sweeping over the other. A hand grabs a handful of brunet hair and Ed moans.

"Take me home, Jim. And slide your seat back while you're at it."

Jim quickly slide back a little, unsure as to why, and puts the car into reverse out of the parking spot. 

"I don't want to take advan- fuck, what are you doing, Ed?"

Jim asked, watching Ed undo Jim's belt.

"Don't worry about me, Jim. Worry about keeping your eyes on the road."

*

"Where's Edward? He's been gone for what, a year now?"

Oswald over exaggerates, and check his watch for the 17th time. Its almost one p.m.. 

"Like, 3 hours. Chill, birdy."

Jerome says drinking straight from a bottle of vodka and scrunching his eyebrows together at the taste. The 19 year old disovered he did not like vodka.

"Give me that, you're a child."

Oswald snatched it from Jerome's hands and took a drink. He sighed, set the drink down, and bit at his nails. 

"Do you think Jim knows?"

"Do I think Jim knows what? He knows too much for his own good, so whatever you are talking about, most likely."

Jerome walked over to the gangster, licking the corners of his cut lips.

"Let's go do something fun." 

He says, reaches behind Oswald, and grabs a pair of keys from the counter behind him.

"Like what?"

The ginger smiled.

"We could give Theo Galavan a good hacking."

"Theo Galavan is dead by my hand."

"You bastard."

Jerome scoffed.

"Well," Jerome continued, "we could go give Jimmy a visit."

This time, Oswald scoffed.

"You know how to drive? So they just give out licenses to anyone these days, huh?"

Jerome laughed.

"Who said anything about a license?"

Oswald considered the proposal, and then considered his lamburgini.

"Fine. You can drive," he then replaced the car keys in Jerome's hand with a different pair, "but you're taking the old lemon."

"Whatever, birdie."

*

Edward awoke. He couldn't tell where he was. Familar smell, unfamilar setting.

This must be Jim's apartment.

"What the f-"

He reached his hand down, and processed his absence of clothing. Something was drying, crusty on the inside of his thigh.

He heard the shower water running.

Edward stood up slowly, and walked into the kitchen. It was older, and the furniture was so outdated it could've been consider antique, had it any style. Edward grabbed a knife from a holder, and slowly entered what must've been the bathroom.

* 

Jim could hear the door opening as shampoo ran through his hair. He imagained it was Ed, coming back for more. The man was a mess. A scrawny, diligent, inteligent, beautiful mess. He smiled. 

The shower current flipped open suddenly, and he felt his hesd bang against the tile. He open his eyes and yelled in pain. There was something sharp at his throat.

"What did you do to me?!"

"What?! What do you mean?!"

The knife pressed closer.

"I'm not going to ask thrice. What did you do to me?"

"We had sex! I had sex with you! I thought it was okay!"

"You thought it was okay to ravish me while i was unconcious?! Does Oswald know where I am? Does he know you kidnapped me?!"

"Kidnapped?! Unconcious? Ed, your eyes were open and you were  _very_ responsive. Shit, you intiated what happened! Are you okay?"

Edward's body became slack. He withdrew the knife and dropped it outside the shower.

"That's impossible. I'm in love with Oswald. I would never do such a thing."

Silence.

"Do you remember  _anything?"_

More silence.

"I don't even remember eating breakfast this morning. Just one second i'm there, now i'm here."

"Nygma, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

Edward stepped out of the shower, then out of the bathroom. He got dresses, hair still wet, and walked out into the gloomy weather of Gotham city.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this chapter was kind of short! More?


End file.
